To Fit into that Box

The world tells you that it’s one big cubicle and that there is a box for you that you must fit into, if you don’t want to be chewed up and ruthlessly spat out. It tells you that it’s just safer for you, and that there is no room for anybody in this universe if they can’t fit into its exact dimensions or designs. So, you spend your entire life suppressing the fact that you just cannot fit into any sort of box. And then, as you begin to convince yourself that something might be wide off the mark with you, you begin changing and adapting bit by bit so that you can fit in, because you must, just like everyone else does. Just like every other person you meet, you realize how desperate they too are, to fit into a box that was once given to them.

When we finally realize that we just cannot fit in properly, we surrender and make new boxes for ourselves, in the hopes that nobody knows, and nobody sees. But you won’t always fit in and you won’t always want to squash into a corner you know you just can’t and don’t want to fit into. You begin questioning whether that is, in fact, your box or whether there perhaps is something wrong with you? You move around, and you alter parts of yourself, just to try and fit in. You always try and try. You let go of anything that might take up too much space, or something that might prevent you from fitting snugly. You spend your entire life shaping yourself so that you can fit perfectly, even though you never really know where that intimidating box came from to begin with. And then, pretty girl, you fall in love. You meet someone who takes your breath away, but he too, gives you a box.

A box he wants you to fit into. A box he had once planned for his love to fit into someday. And so, it all begins again. You begin to conform to that new box’s design and once again, you begin altering all there is about you just one more time. Just to be able to fit into a brand-new box, given by someone you are desperate to please. You maneuver around, you twist and turn. You even bend over backwards to prove that you can fit into that box, the one he has given you. You must. It’s what love asks of you. But just stop for a moment. Step back and take in a deep breath. We, you and I, were never made to fit into any kind of box and the world is not a cubicle. You should not have to fit into the box society presents you with. Not the box your parents hope you’ll fit into as you grow and not the box the love of your life expects you to settle uncomfortably into. Love does not come with boxes. It does not seek to clip your wings or cage you in any way. Love does not seek conformity, and it does not seek to conquer you.

When love shows up, real, legitimate and true love, there is no container that comes with it. Love seeks to encourage you, strengthen you and give you enough room to breathe and shape you into the best possible version of your authentic self. It gives you freedom and reinforces your wings so that you can fly … away if you must. You don’t belong in a box. None of us do. You weren’t made to curl up and conform in a world packed and stacked with boxes. Any love that presents you with a box, is simply no love at all. It’s not love. Darling girl, a box does not matter. Life does not ask of you to be one way only.

With love,

Alice VL

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