She held onto the string that carefully tied and secured the red balloon she had slipped a note into only moments before she had filled it with kisses of air and hugs of love. A gentle breeze had begun to blow when she looked up into the overcast, cloudy sky. She waited for the sun to set just a little more, and she waited for a gust of wind to sweep in just as the sun was about to whisper goodnight.
Her timing had to be flawless. Her prayer in the red balloon was crucial. As the wind began howling around her, she smiled up at the balloon before she released it into the almost dark skies. She prayed that it would reach Heaven safely as it begun its journey of a thousand tears. She watched it go higher and higher, until she could no longer see her red balloon, and the heart it was carrying. She closed her eyes and asked God to keep a lookout for a delivery, for the man she was sending a prayer and a million hugs to. In her note, she asked God to tell him that she could never have known that their last night would be their last walk in the rain.
She said that if she had only known, she’d keep him out in the storm for a few hours more, while she held his hand tighter as though it was a lifeline to his heart. She said that if only she had known she would never hear his voice again, she’d listen more attentively to each word he had ever said to her. She told Him that lately, on the loneliest of nights, she hears him, and she keeps his voice and his words alive in her mind. She asked God to tell him that he was her greatest treasure, and that she now sees how he so passionately loved her.
As a tear fell onto her prayer, she told God that she never thought he would leave. She never thought he would swap their world for Heaven, but that she was sure he’d always be there with her, and until the end of time. She asked God to tell him how sorry she was that she had turned her head for just a moment, before he quietly and unexpectedly, slipped away into the next world. She said that if only she had known that it would be her last night by his side, she would plead and beg to stop the morning light and rather, linger in the darkness with him forever. She would give up the sun, the birds and the beauty of her days, to live with him in one long night until she could leave with him.
She said that all she wanted was to see his smile and pay closer attention to how he used to look into her eyes. She missed him in the mornings, and by the time the stars were out at night, the ache in her heart would debilitate and cripple her. Before signing off her prayer, she told Gold how she prays He will give her love the red balloon, but that He be careful when He opened it. She said she tried to fit in all the hugs and all the kisses she had missed in the days that followed his leaving, and those she would miss in the days that were to come. She said that she was not yet ready to say goodbye, and that there were still so many things she wished she had told him.
She said that it was hard to hold back the tears, when she thought of the precious years, she had spent in bliss with him. The same tears that would silence her when she thought of the years to come that she would spend without him. She wrote that there was nothing in the world she wouldn’t give, just to see his face and hold his hand, even only one more time. She asked God if they could spend just one more day together, even though it was against the rules. She said that her life would just never be the same, and she needed just a little more time. She told God that she needed to catch her breath, and lift the weight from her heart, even for just a moment. She said that if He could just look into her heart, and see how broken it was, He might consider giving her five more minutes with him. She promised Him that she would tell nobody, and that no-one would see. Just this once. Just for her. Just to survive. Just to feel something other than excruciating soul and heartbreak.
She told Him that her soul was in so much pain, and that breathing hurt with each breath she took. She said that she was struggling to pick up the pieces, and she asked God to show her, and teach her how to live out the rest of her life, without him, because she did not want to. She wondered for a moment whether he was ready to leave, and whether he was ready to let her go. She wondered if he had perhaps, negotiated with God as she had. She wondered for just a moment, if the stars hadn’t perhaps, made a mistake. She wanted to ask God to check his paperwork, perhaps an angel had gotten the address and the name wrong. Perhaps it was as simple as their clock that was set wrong, and perhaps, their timing was just totally off. She wanted to know the name of the angel that so carelessly and mercilessly destroyed her heart, and she wanted to ask God to check, because it just could not be.
It had to be a mistake. It had to be the wrong soul. It had to be the wrong time. Was the angel perhaps there for the previous tenant? There was no warning, no indication and nothing to say that an angel was on his way to their home. There was not enough time. She needed more time. She needed him to have more time. Her heart needed more of him. Her soul needed his. For more. For longer. She wanted to whisper in God’s ear that if it were a mistake, she would never tell anyone if He would just bring her love back to her. She wouldn’t tell a soul, and she would never say a word. As though it had never happened, she would simply live out the rest of her days quietly with him.
Instead, she asked God again to carefully open the red balloon, and hand her shattered heart over to her love, because she knows His angels follow His plans flawlessly.
ALICE VL 